


Untitled as of right now

by ChildofPersephone



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Mutually Unrequited, New Beginnings, Running Away, hidden past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-20 18:04:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1520141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildofPersephone/pseuds/ChildofPersephone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim confessed his feelings to/for Spock.  Spock rebuffed him.  Nyota has been aware of his feelings for quite awhile. Possibly even longer than Jim was aware he even had feelings for the other man.  When Jim's secrets start coming to the fore, will he run or will he face the truths of his past coming to light?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the beginning - Consider it a prologue. Hopefully you all will enjoy it. Seriously, let me know what you think. I'm still trying to find my footing in this fandom & their voices are a little trying. So tell me if his voice is... Jim enough.

Life had sent him on a spiral once again. Don't ask him why the fates, karma, whatever liked doing this to him, but apparently he was their favorite play toy. He'd finally balls upped and told his frustratingly silent First Officer his feelings. He'd known that he and Uhura had been having a rough go of it. Not that he should have even said anything now, they were still together.

Even if Uhura had been giving him sympathetic looks over the last few months, he'd ignored them, knowing as he did that Spock wouldn't even look at him. He musgt have told Uhura what had transpired. With a sigh Jim leaned back in his seat, eyeing what he had written in his report. This last mission was just the icing on the cake. He was now seriously thinking of applying for a leave of absence. Maybe swing back by Iowa and the farm house he'd grown up in and pray to whatever higher power that there was that Frank nor his mother were there. 

Frowning, he drummed his fingers on the desk next to his PADD. When had everything gone to hell in a hand basket? Was it the moment he first realized that he was falling for his First, who just happened to be in a relationship with his CoC? Hell, he didn't know. It could have been any number of things, big and small that created the situation he was in. Either way, he wasn't about to let anyone know about his decision, not even Bones. 

He wanted this to be his decision and his alone. Thus the conundrum of what he was actually going to do. Groaning, he ran his fingers through his hair, making more of a disaster of it than it already was. It was almost time to get a trim, it was brushing his collar now. Perfectly grippable when being fucked, but of no real use when he wasn't in a relationship with someone, let alone someone who would dominate him.

"To hell with it, I'm gonna do it. Afterall, I have enough leave time to do it. I need to get my head on straight, and staring at him with my heart on my sleeve isn't going to help." He muttered to himself, tapping the SEND button on his PADD with one finger, before he could change his mind.


	2. True Family & Interventions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim winds up meeting up with people he was trying to avoid, all around. Interventions happen while truths come out and the past is starting to come back to haunt Jim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to plow my way through a decent amount while I can, seeing as I'm off today and tomorrow.
> 
> I know, not a whole lot of Spock but! I'll get there! The build up is the best part, right?

He'd done it. Success! Grinning Jim almost danced along the ramp leading to Riverside, Iowa. No one knew what he had done, they'd stopped in for some repairs which were due to take at least six months. His saving grace! Maybe he'd get his head screwed back on by then. He snorted at himself before he took and just leapt off the ramp, ignoring the indignant squawks of the dock workers.  
Tossing a glance up at the stewardess staring down at him with wide eyes, he hollered up at her, "I'm a Starship Captain! You think that'll do me in?" Smirking he jogged to the doors leading inside the building where his luggage, not that he really even had a whole lot was dropped off at. Hell, he didn't even have a whole lot on the Enterprise. Even after having been her Captain for damn near five years.  
Jim jerked to a stop as soon as he walked through the doors. Not only were Frank and his mother standing there, but so was his brother and his wife. Who was holding a baby. All except he wanted to grab his bag, he didn't want to see them, let alone speak to them. His plan to grab and run was foiled when Sam turned, as if he'd sensed his presence. Which was possible. They'd always had that ability. Maybe it had something to do with them having trace amounts of Betazoid ancestry...?

"Jimmy!" 

"Hey Sam."

"I guess you did get my messages! I wasn't sure 'cuz well, you hadn't responded... That and we haven't talked in well... Years."

"Not since you left." Left me to die, to take the abuse Frank doled out, no one to protect me, help me. Winona never believed him, never truly cared, I was always just a reminder that she was alive, that her husband died saving them. Not his father, not the daddy that Sam had known. Just the man who was never there, who he'd always hoped would miraculously come back from the dead to rescue him from the dread at home.

Sam regarded his brother, seeing the guarded and closed expression that graced his handsome features. His brother had blossomed, becoming a man their father would have been proud of. A man that hopefully their mother would now see as someone other than a shadow of her dead husband. He knew that she'd always loved Jim, but... Was never truly able to articulate that. Then Frank came along... She was always gone, not even bothering to return when Jim took and drove Frank's classic Corvette off the cliff. 

Sam had been terrified that he'd actually been thinking of killing himself. Only four years older than Jim, he'd only been fifteen when it'd happened. Shortly after that, he'd taken off himself. So he didn't know his brother had been sent to Tarsus, not until his mother had tracked him down. Even then, he didn't know what had happened, not truly. Nor did their mother. 

"I'm sorry."

"Too damn late Sam."

"Jim..." Their mother tried to step in, Jim just looked at her, the look in his eyes turning the normally vibrant cobalt into ice. An ice so cold it reminded him of Delta Vega, and the creatures that inhabited the planet.

"Don't speak to me. You have no right. You are no mother of mine. My mother died on Tarsus defending me and giving me a chance to survive."  
Winona jerked back as if she'd been shot. She knew she'd made mistakes with Jim, but... For him to completely disown her...? She glanced at Frank from under her eyelashes, watching as he clenched his fists rythmically. She could see from the way his body had tensed that he was seriously thinking of hitting Jim.

They were again interrupted, but this time by people they hadn't even realized were there. "Captain." Jim looked away from Winona, who he had been studying with as much interest as one would study an ant. 

"What the hell Spock?" Jim was now frowning furiously, none of them had a clue as to who the group of people slowly surrounding their family member was. They'd known that he'd saved the Earth, and that he had become a Captain, but they didn't know any other details from his life. He'd made sure of that. Aurelian, his brothers wife, knew the most out of everyone. He hadn't cut her out of his life like he had everyone else. Afterall, she had no part of what had happened when he was a child or a teen for that matter.

"You thought we wouldn't figure things out...?" That of course was Bones. He could feel a snarl starting to form on his lips, it was a reaction he really didn't want his crew to see. However, they were starting to piss him off, on top of his family being there.

"Hell yes, I thought that you wouldn't show the fuck up here! You, and everyone else have things to do and family to see, especially you Bones! What about Jojo?"

"We decided you were more important. Seeing as most of us aren't close to our families, and Len got Joyce to agree that she'd bring Jo out here. She knows that he can't really do a whole lot out here, that and Pike jumped in. When you've got an Admiral backing you up..." Uhura smirked. Jim could just imagine what Pike had done, it served his best friend's bitch of an ex right. Keeping his daughter from him just to be malicious.... Hmph.

Then it hit him exactly what they had done. They had eschewed their own families and obligations just to make sure he was alright. It made him feel warm and almost delirious. This here? They were his family. Uhura, Spock, Bones, Sulu, Cupcake, Chekhov... They were brilliant in their own ways, with everything they had gone through, they were thick as thieves and as loyal as any bonded pair of Vulcans.  
"Guys... Damn you. I love how you're always the spokeswoman Nyota. Especially when you pull shit like this, you ever realize that it's like almost an intervention, every damn time you do this?"

"Well, if you'd stop being such an infant... We wouldn't have to take it upon ourselves to make sure that you're taking care of yourself."

Jim spread his arms wide, hands open, palms up and shrugged. He loved his crew, and this reinforced that despite his childhood and the events of Tarsus, that he was valuable, that they wanted him around. He thought that they all kind of figured something along those lines, thus why they kept doing it.

It was in the space of seconds that Frank finally lost the battle to control his temper. He was on Jim in a nanosecond, letting his fists fly with a speed and power that made even Spock flinch. Without thought, Spock was pulling the man off of his Captain, tossing him as if he weighed nothing. His eyes, typically distant to those who don't know him, were blazing with a repressed fury, cheeks lightly flushed green as he took a protective stance in front of his Captain.

While Spock made sure no one was going to approach without warning, McCoy was on his knees, medkit next to him as he checked their bloodied Captain and friend. McCoy was sending filthy looks at the man sprawled on the floor with Sulu holding his sword at his throat, while Scotty scowled at him with a phaser not so subtly held at his hip.

"Shit! Jim!" Sam tried to rush towards his brother only to be thwarted by the united glare of Jim's Bridge Crew. He stopped in his tracks, these were seasoned deep space explorers, the ones who had braved new civilizations and diseases. They were war and battle hardened. 

"Stay where the fuck you are," The African woman snarled, "We're going to make damn sure that our Captain is going to be alright. That man, and I don't care who he is, is going to be up on charges. If he's who I think he is... He's going to be up on more than just those charges."

Jim surged to his feet, blood dripping from his chin, staining the white of his shirt. "Nyota... Leave it be. He's not worth it."

It was Bones' turn to glare at their wayward Captain, his Southern accent thicker than it was before in his anger, "Oh hell no, this bag of shit isn't getting away with anything anymore. He beat you Jim, I'm the one who has been fixing you up for the last eight years. I'm the one who got to see the psychological damage that was done to you, not just by him but by the bitch we call your egg donor. By what was done on Tarsus. So, no he is not getting away with anymore damage done to you."

"Fine. However, now that the beating has been done with... What fucking messages did my brother send me?" Uhura looked slightly guilty. She hadn't meant to hide it from her Captain, but it had just happened.

"I didn't read them, I just declined their delivery. Perk of being Chief of Communications." This clued in Jim's mother and brother just who they were dealing with. Jim's crew, who were apparently fiercely loyal to the man he had become. Loyal enough that they had snooped in his official communiques to Command and followed him here.

"Ah. Well either way, I don't really care. I would have done the same thing. Thanks Uhura."

"I take it this is your Bridge Crew?" Aurelian questioned softly, having stayed out of the argument and conversations going on around her, until now that is. All eyes swung her way. Including her husbands, who was staring at her with wide, betrayed eyes. She shrugged lightly, the baby in her arms gurgling with laughter when he saw his uncle.  
Jim slipped around Spock and gently took his nephew from her, cooing at him in apparent adoration. "Yeah, these are my brats."

One by one they either shook their heads or rolled their eyes, a couple including Uhura and Bones flipped him off. Not that he was paying attention to see it, but he laughed as if he knew exactly what they had done.

"Want to introduce them, hmm?"

"The beauty of African descent is Nyota Uhura, and as she already said, she's my CoC. Chief of Communications, for those who don't know 'Fleet shorthand. Bones, the Southern gentleman who was so furiously checking me out, is my CMO, Chief Medical Officer. Also know as Leonard McCoy." He took a deep breath and tickled his nephew who was clinging to him. His brother stared, it was as if his wife had let Jim meet their son before now, by the way his son was acting.

"Lets see, where did I leave off...? Oh yeah, Scotty! Say something will you?" Scotty just looked at him before whining, "Where's the sandwiches...?"

Shaking his head, Pavel bent down to the bag at his feet, reaching into it, he pulled out an aforementioned sandwich. "Here. Stop the vhining will you?" Pavel had grown into himself and it was apparent. "Well, seeing as Pavel has said something as well..." Jim smirked, and motioned the younger man forward. "Scotty, Montgomery Scott, is my Chief Engineer. Then Pavel Chekhov here is my navigator. Then you've got the Asian man over there who is currently keeping Frank on the ground. That's Hikaru Sulu, and if I were you, I wouldn't insult his sword skills. They're mad crazy. Also, yes it is a katana he's holding. That things come in handy more often than any of us would like to admit."

Sam couldn't take it anymore, he had to know, had Aurelian allowed Jim to see their son? The man who wouldn't even speak to him...? Even if he could see where his brother was coming from, how was it fair?

"Aurelian, did you allow him to see our son? I mean, I... I don't mind, but... I wish I had known. I'd have liked to see Jim, try and make amends before now."

"Before I answer that, Jim give him here, go clean yourself up! You're getting blood everywhere!"


	3. Stand Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly, things are coming to fruition. Where are things going...? What about Jim's mother? What's the importance of a nickname...? Wait, what about Tarsus?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slowly getting chapters done. I'm trying to make sure each chapter is a minimum of a thousand words. I always hate authors who have short chapters, so I'm trying to make sure mine aren't super short. My time is a bit precious, because of the fact I work in retail & I work 30+ hours a week. So work, chores, family time. My priorities. Enjoy!

Jim hung back watching as his... Uh, families commingled. Without actually commingling. It was more of a tense standoff. Hm, this was actually kind of amusing. Maybe that was his wickedly warped sense of humor showing, the one that all of his bridge crew knew and could follow just as easily as he could. They all added their own little quips, which made things great when the Admirals called. The Admirals could never keep track of them, well Pike could. But Pike was dead now. 

Biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to taste blood, he took a deep breath and stepped forward. Sidling along the wall until was was in his seconds shadow. The tall half-Vulcan looked down at him from the corner of his eye. Jim may have told him the feelings he had, and yes, things between them were awkward to say the least, but Spock wouldn't let any harm befall him. Let alone the rest of his makeshift Enterprise family.

Even Uhura. Who yes, was dating the formidable man he was using as a shield, was willing to do whatever was necessary to keep him safe and sound. Especially mentally. So this whole thing with Spock was killing him, slowly but surely, not that he'd let anyone know the depths of his despair on that one. Keeping as close to Spock as he could, Jim peeked out and waved briefly in acknowledgement of his crew. 

"Hey Sulu, y'know y'can let the bastard up now... I promise you won't have to slice and dice the man." Jim called softly with his trademark careless grin. It was a mask as they all knew. Ok, maybe not all the time, he was a danger junkie after all. 

"You sure about that Captain...? The man did try to assualt a Starfleet Captain aver all. Oooh, yeah, you're also the poster boy for the 'Fleet. Can't ruin that oh so pretty face of yours." Sulu jibed back gently and semi-seriously. 

Jim rolled his eyes and motioned. After he'd done so, Sulu retracted his katana into its more easily portable form, where no one was going to look at him twice. He slipped it into the pocket of his jeans, which Jim was just now noticing. Serves him right. He'd been so out of it after having run into his biological family, then his crew and getting not quite the shit beat out of him...

"Alright. You can do whatever you want to him lady and gentlemen. So long as I don't hear a word of it. Understood?" They all glowered at him, it was standard practice when it came to him being hurt or the possibility of it. Their retaliation was quick and fierce, honor to them was like honor for the Klingons. Ah, to have such a beatiful makeshift family!  
"James Tiberius Kirk! Get your lily white ass front and center now!" Aurelian called firmly, causing her in-laws and husband to look at her askance. It wasn't often they heard her like that, even better yet, they'd never known that she and Jim were that close. It was an offense that would have caused a verbal tussle between Jim and his mother at the very least. Especially if Frank wasn't around. If he was... Well, things got violent and quickly. There was no other recourse in Frank's mind, Jim was a little boy who needed his ass whooped and often, even when he hadn't done anything. Just to teach him a lesson. 

Oh what a lesson it had been. Jim was now terrified of being a father, that he would one day act just like Frank. Even though he knew he never wanted to be anything like Frank. As he slunk by Spock, he felt Spock grip his wrist lightly. As he did so, he could feel the tendrils of Spock's awareness that he was always barely aware of. The joy of having melded with Old Spock. 'Cuz yeah, that was just bucketloads of joy and sunshine, with rainbows and pots of gold at the end. 

Slipping his wrist free, he slid his on hand and fingers along Spocks in silent reassurance that everything, especially Jim would be fine. There was no reason to truly worry, the blood that had been gushing from his nose was tended to, it wasn't broken, even is his shirt was now ruined.   
"I'm here Aurie. Damn. So pushy."

Aurelian just gave him the stink eye. He knew better than to push her too far. She'd kicked his ass more than once... She'd also been the one who'd covered for him and let him crash on her couch more than once before she and his brother had hooked up and later gotten married. Aurelian and Sam had danced around each other for fucking years!

"Good, now that you're right where I want you..." Aurelian threw herself at him. Her slender frame shaking from the silent tears trailing down her cheeks to dampen his shoulder. She nuzzled the stiff fabric of his shirt, where his blood had dried. He held her gently, afraid he'd break her with his new found strength. The wonder of Khans blood, who would have have known?

"Sam, come get her. I don't need her covered in my blood. Most of it's dried now, but with her crying..." Sam moved quickly, taking his wife and cuddling her in his arms while their son nestled between them. Jim almost wished he had a camera. It was... Beautiful. The picture his brother made with his wife and son... It was how he wanted to remember their family, broken as it was. "Sam, thank you. I know you didn't mean to do what you did and that you were a kid too. However, it hurt and it left scars. The consequences... " Jim trailed off. There wasn't much that could be done now, it was much too late to hash out the details of the past. All either of them could do was try and move on. Repair the relationship they had, or could have. It'd be nice to be able to see Aurelian and their son without having to sneak around.

"I understand Jamie." Jim started, he hadn't had anyone call him Jamie since before Tarsus, and no one on Tarsus called him anything but JT. It was a start to hear it again, seeing as the only one who had was Sam. He smiled at his brother through the shimmer of tears in his own eyes. Feeling Spock and his crew move closer, he turned to their mother. She was standing there silent as a mouse, watching everything around her. The woman looked afraid, he realized, seeing Frank moving towards her. 

"Frank, get yourself out of here. I see you and I won't be held accountable for my actions, let alone the actions of my crew... Seeing as we are technically on leave... We can do damn near anything and get away with it... Us especially with us having, oh you know... Saved Earth, rescued the remaining Vulcan's... Oh we can do no wrong for the Federation, and if it comes out just what you've done... We'll be applauded even more!" Frank threw them all a venomous look before slinking out of the doors.


End file.
